My husband is really into social networking sites...?

He has pages on myspace, facebook, facebox, tagged, Hi5, ringo, and amigos.com, he spends a LOT of time looking at pictures of other people. Some are just random people but most of the pictures are really pretty 18-yr old girls posing coquettishly for the camera. Also he emails them, leaves messages on their blogs, is in chatrooms, and they IM each other. Keep in mind these are girls he has never met in real life and says he has no intention of ever meeting, they are just "online friends". I am just horribly jealous, I don't know what to think he insists it's just a way to pass the time and kill boredom. He has been working sporadically, he will work a few days then have a few days off. On his days off, I find out that he just surfs these "social networking" sites all day instead of doing something productive like small repairs around the house or helping me with the household chores. What do you think, am I overreacting? is it just a harmless male thing or is it infidelity?

My husband is really into social networking sites...?
What your husband is doing is sick. Yes it is infidelity. I say, kick him out. How do you know he never meets them? On line friends my you know what. If my husband did that, I would be at the lumber yard looking for a two by four to bust over his head (don't do this) and would then call the cops on him (how does he know the girls are 18) and then take him for every dime he had. This is "fun"? How old is this guy? If he wants to kill boredom he can help you around the house, play golf, get involved in a community service group, there are tons of things. This is just too wierd. I would lose any interest in a guy that did this. Ask his Mom if she thinks it is infedelity. If he gets angry that you did, then you know he knows it is wrong. If he doesn't know it is wrong then something is wrong with him, if he knows it is wrong and does it anyway, he is what is known as a sociopath.
Reply:Yes you are its all fun so give the guy a break.
Reply:You are not overreacting. Your marriage has some issues (no offense, all marriages do).


I would suggest marriage counseling. Not all counselors are good. If you go to one and you think they might be bad, then they probably are.


There are plenty of more healthy ways for your husband to cure his boredom. How about you two do some new hobbies together? Good luck. It isn't the end of the world or your marriage.


But, if he is not receptive to changing this habit, you have some choices to make.
Reply:It is a problem that is becoming rampant these days and has caused much hurt among spouses.





In this case, he is not yet addicted but definitely there are seeds to addiction. For the moment they are just probably meeting a "need" like he says, it's boredom. Or perhaps, it is more than that. But fantasies on the net is not easy for you to compete with.





It is probably time that you have an honest talk with him. At the same time, explore with him the possibility of other activities you can both do together so he is less "bored".





In case you find he is also into porn, there is a good book you can read. "End Porn Addiction"
Reply:...it's harmless. If you want to him to know it bothers you, just do the same %26amp; make him jealous.......you can start by emailing me...lol...!! ..(seriously, you can email me anytime)... - Bruce
Reply:If you feel that your marriage is in jeopardy because of his actions, you need to tell him how you feel. Come right and tell him how you feel and that you wish he would stop. Sometimes I don't think men take our "subtle" hints of us wanting them NOT to do something. IF he continues to do this, ask for marriage counseling. I am also an avid Myspace %26amp; Myyearbook person - and I am in a longterm relationship...but I do post that I am in a relationship and only looking for friendship and pen pals. Does he state that he is single? IF so, that is a red alert that something needs to be done. If not, he could just be harmlessly "flirting" with others - knowing that they are "unobtainable".. Maybe just a fantasy! Let me know how it affects you! Hang in there!
Reply:I use to think that it was all innocent, no big deal, it's just a computer. Until the nights got longer the time we spent together shorter. Then one day I was looking for a sight that I was on something to do with my kids and boom. Somehow a conversation that he had with a women was saved. Now he could have intentionally done that. Who knows. In my case it was more than just casual conversation. Just be careful and keep your guard up. We are divorced now and he is with the girl from the Internet. Good luck. Please don't let this scare you. I don't know what kind of relationship y'all have. I just know the Internet can be a really good thing and a really bad one. Take care and good luck to you. I wish you the best.
Reply:Ewww, not cool. You are not overreacting. Boredom can be the Devil's playground, so he needs to find a new hobby. This is something you definitely should address. Anything that your husband is doing that could affect your relationship in a negative way should be avoided at all costs. Good for you for recognizing that this is a problem, and for wanting to do something about it. Stick to your guns girl!
Reply:Get rid of him, he is a pig!
Reply:I don't think I would like it if my husband was emailing 18 year old girls. And if he is just bored and looking for friends, why not chat with guys as well? Some questions to ponder and I would continue to talk to him about it. It just doesn't make sense to me at all.
Reply:something he enjoys to do with his time. a way to get away from society temporarly and relax. have a good time.
Reply:I don't think your overreacting at all. I would be very upset if it were my husband doing this. Have you tried to ask him why he feels the need to look for these other women to socialize with? That might be a good place to start. Good Luck to you. I hope everything works out OK!